FCC's 40 Days of Purpose!
If you have any questions or remarks regarding the daily readings from The Purpose Driven Life, topics discussed in worship, or Don's reflections here - or if you have something you would like for Don to comment on in his remarks - feel free to e-mail Don at dmorrow@fccbentonville.com
Week 3: YOU WERE FORMED FOR GOD'S FAMILY
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DAY 15: Formed for God's Family
You were created to be a member of the family of God. As we talk about regularly, God is love - which means that above all else, God is about relationships (as opposed to God being about rules, regulations, or religion).
You won't be surprised by this point to discover that Warren and I see things differently as far as how we become members of God's family. According to Warren, "when we place our faith in Christ, God becomes our Father... Every human being was created by god, but not everyone is a child of God" (PDL p.118). I disagree with that assessment. I believe that ALL PEOPLE come into the world born and blessed as children of God. When we finally wake up to that fact and come to faith, it can turn our life around; but the truth is, we are part of that family, whether we recognize it or not. We may not be in fellowship with God and God's family, loving and trusting Him and His children - but nevertheless, we are always part of His family.
The way Warren describes this, which is a common point of view among Christians, causes some real problems in my mind. For one, what about young children and babies who have not yet come to a faith of their own. Are they somehow left outside God's family? I think not! One line of thought in Christian theology has been that if a child dies before being baptized, that child is lost; but I find that ludicrous. And I think Warren would agree, as he states that "baptism doesn't make you a member of God's family; only faith in Christ does that. Baptism shows you are part of God's family" (PDL p.120). For me, baptism is not a sign of your inclusion in God's family as much as it is a sign of your acceptance of that, and an announcement of your inclusion within the fellowship of that family.
As Warren writes, as members of God's family, we have quite an inheritance! But be careful how you try to delineate exactly who gets included on that inheritance and who is left out - remember, God is God and I am not! If you look up the various scripture texts Warren quotes here, and compare other translations, you'll see that even the verses he quotes are not nearly as clear as he makes them out to be. And let me throw in another text for you to consider, this from 1 Cor.15:20-22... "But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have died. For since death came through a human being, the resurrection of the dead has also come through a human being; for as all die in Adam, so all will be made alive in Christ." Here, Paul seems to be including EVERYONE in God's ultimate plan. He does go on to imply that believers may experience the resurrection first... "But each in his own order: Christ the first fruits, then at his coming those who belong to Christ. Then comes the end, when he hands over the kingdom to God the Father, after he has destroyed every ruler and every authority and power. The last enemy to be destroyed is death." It is the powers of evil, with death being prince among them, that God will destroy - and if death is ultimately destroyed, who will then be at death's mercy? Is it possible that God will allow NO ONE to remain outside His love and fellowship?...
I believe that is at least possible... for God is love. And God's love always amazes me.
DAY 16: What Matters Most
Picking up on the last thought from yesterday's reading, life is all about love. Jesus made this abundantly clear for us when asked what the most important commandments were in the Bible. He responded, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind and strength... and love your neighbor as yourself." I must take issue to some degree with Warren's statement that other believers get "priority" in our love (p.124). In fact, I'm sure Jesus discussed at length what exactly the definition of "neighbor" is. Check out Luke 10:25-37... The beginning of that reading is Jesus sharing this "great commandment" to love God and neighbor. When asked, "And who is my neighbor?" Jesus responds with the parable of the Good Samaritan. The clear implication of the story is that God calls us to be a loving neighbor to whomever is in need. And Jesus ends the parable by telling its hearers that the one who showed mercy" was in the right, and that they should "go and do likewise."
The bulk of what Warren has to say on this day is pure gold - that the best use of our lives here on earth is to love. I also just want to highlight a couple of great statements for you to soak on... Warren definitely hits the mark to our over-scheduled society when he says busyness is a great enemy of relationships. He goes on to say that TIME is the greatest gift we can give one another. And he also is right-on when he talks about the eternal legacy that love leaves. I really like the quote from Mother Theresa: "It's not what you do, but how much love you put into it that matters."
Warren's closing section states that The Best Time to Love is Now - which is absolutely right. However, I don't care for his closing flurry of questions, when he says, "Knowing that one day you will stand before God, here are some questions you need to consider..." I just don't think that "Judgment Day" should be our motivation for choosing to live a life of love now. That, in some sense, makes the "love" that we show now less than true love. Instead of going out and loving people because you don't want to have to come up with excuses at Judgment, why not go out and love people because it's what we were made to do! Love is one of our foremost purposes - so just do it!
DAY 17: A Place to Belong
Warren is right - you can't do this Christian thing alone! There really is no such thing as golf course Christianity, where the greatest expression of your faith is going out on the course and enjoying the beauty of God's creation... or out on the lake Christianity, or hunting in the woods Christianity, or... you get the idea. That's not to say that all of those things cannot be worshipful, spiritual, meaningful times, because they certainly can be. But they should not take the place of the life you are called to live in Christian community with others. The Christian faith is meant to be shared - and by that I don't mean just talked about, I mean actively shared in our day-to-day living. What Warren says in his opening section here is great: while your relationship to Christ is personal, God never intends it to be private.
We are made for relationship. One reason we need that is that it is in our relating to one another that we discover our place in the Body of Christ. God has created each of us with unique gifts, talents and abilities - gifts, talents and abilities which are intended for the benefit of God's family. The Body can function without individuals (just as our physical bodies can function without certain parts, like a finger or a leg or an eye); but unless everyone is contributing their God-given potential to the whole, we will not be functioning as completely as we should.
Warren also talks at length about the need to be a "member" of a local congregation, even going so far as to say that "I can't claim to be following Christ if I'm not committed to any specific group of disciples" (PDL p.133). While I think that is over-stating things, I do believe that being committed to a local congregation helps people in their spiritual growth, and that a lack of commitment to one congregation can limit that growth. Being a "bunny believer" as Warren says, hopping around from one church to another, will definitely hinder your long-term growth. Why? Because some of the best growth in any kind of relationship comes during and after the roughest times in that relationship - and unless you are fully committed to that relationship (in this case, to that relationship with the church), when those rough times come you may allow them to push you into "greener pastures" (which will only remain green for so long). It's really not the "membership" itself, but it is the commitment which that membership represents, that is important. (I say this knowing that we have some non-members who are more committed to our congregation than some of our official members. It is, in the long run, the commitment which will be rewarded.)
The rest of what Warren writes today is also good stuff. A church family really can help you develop "spiritual muscle" and can move you out of self-isolationism. He also talks about the church functioning to keep its members from backsliding. That is a touchy subject... but he really is right when he says that "mind your own business" is not a Christian phrase. We should be concerned about one another, and love one another with enough care, that we can speak up when we see each other falling into habits or actions that we should not. On the other hand, that does not mean that we should be judgmental towards one another in any sense. Jesus talks about that in several places (remove the log from your own eye before picking the speck out of someone else's... let those who are without sin cast the first stone... etc.).
DAY 18: Experiencing Life Together
This may be my shortest response yet, because I think Warren nails this subject. Life really is meant to be shared, and in order for that to result in true, deep, meaningful fellowship, that sharing ideally needs to take place in some sort of small group - not necessarily a 40 Days group, or even a Sunday school class, but some group of friends in whom you can trust and confide. And again today he uses a word that is foremost in what I believe Christians and the church are called to be: authentic. "Putting on your Sunday best" for some people means more than just getting dressed up in their best clothes; for some, it also means putting your "best face" on things, denying the things that are going poorly or wrong in life and acting as though "everything is just fine", even when it isn't. Now don't read this wrong. I'm all for keeping a positive attitude, even in the face of horrible circumstances - but only when that attitude is grounded in an honest, authentic faith in the God who will see us through even the darkest of valleys in life. If that positive attitude is a lie... then stop acting as if everything is peachy and open up. Find a group where you can GET REAL about the real problems of life, and the real doubts of faith. It will not only do you enormous good, it will also benefit those in whom you trust.
DAY 19: Cultivating Community
I really don't have any bones to pick with Warren today; he hits the nail on the head here. Community - real, authentic community - takes commitment. The Message translation of James 3:18 may say it best: "You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor." To live in real community with other people - other flawed, broken, sometimes hurting, sometimes angry people - is some of the hardest work we can do. And as God's family, it is work we are absolutely called to do.
And Warren is right: in order for that sort of authentic community to grow and flourish, it takes honesty, humility, courtesy, confidentiality, and frequency. Real friends and true families don't just gloss over problems or issues. They discuss them openly and honestly... but also lovingly. We cannot remain surface-level friends with one another if we hope to ever develop deep community. Confrontations are never fun, but they can be extremely healthy when handled in the correct manner. Even in confronting one another, we should do so in a spirit of love and humility. That means accepting the fact that we may be wrong in our assessment of things. We shouldn't come to one another as though we have all the answers; rather, we should come to one another out of concern for one another and for the greater community. Part of that concern means thinking about things from the other party's point of view.
And clearly, for the sake of the community and for the sake of the relationship between individuals, gossip is always wrong! A breach of confidentiality makes relationships all that much harder to repair. When we have problems or difficulties or differences with someone within the broader church family, we must always go directly to that person as the first step in trying to resolve whatever issues there may be. The Bible in no way advocates pot-stirring.
Warren's last point is also well taken: if you want to cultivate real fellowship, it will mean meeting together even when you don't feel like it, because you believe it is important. That may sound like meeting out of obligation or duty, which we have elsewhere talked against in this study. But what Warren is saying here, and I must agree, is that for the difficult work of community-building to take place, we must give that community our utmost commitment. God calls us to live in community with one another - and though it is definitely hard work, it is work that is very much worthwhile.
DAY 20: Restoring Broken Fellowship
Continuing with the theme from yesterday, and the hard work of living in community, Warren again today has wise words of counsel for us on restoring relationships which have run afoul. Jesus said that the mark that would identify his true followers would be their love for one another, and Paul writes in Romans 15:5, "May the God of steadfastness and encouragement grant you to live in harmony with one another, in accordance with Jesus Christ, so that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." Getting along with others, even who share our faith, can be very difficult work at times - but it is work we must do.
At the same time, that is not to say that we should always avoid conflict, nor should we pretend that everything is always just fine when at times it is anything but. But as discussed in Day 19, when it comes time to confront someone about something, even the confrontation should be done out of a spirit of love. That is oftentimes easier said than done, however - so Warren offers these words of advice:
Talk to God before talking to the person... Absolutely! Prayer will help in any conflict resolution; in fact, it may help YOU resolve your feelings about the conflict before you ever get to the point of confrontation. Make sure to take your concerns and feelings (including your anger!) to God, rather than spreading your dis-ease to others through gossip and talk. I like the way Warren puts it when he says to follow David's lead and "ventilate vertically."
Always take the initiative... Make the first move. Don't sit back and wait for the other person to come to you. While you are waiting, you'll also be stewing over whatever it is that has cropped up between you. Time does not heal all wounds. Some wounds need immediate attention, or else they fester and cause further damage.
Sympathize with their feelings... This is a must, and something that is easy to do wrong. While getting the facts straight is an important step to get to at some point, in the beginning of any conflict, feelings probably need to take precedence. I have made the mistake too many times of going into a confrontation equipped with plenty of "factual evidence" to back up my point of view, and have allowed those facts to cloud my understanding and hearing of what the other person was feeling. Perception truly is 90% of reality at times, and certainly at times when tempers are rising. So take Warren's advice and begin with sympathy, not solutions.
Confess your part of the conflict... This step is crucial, not only to help the other person, but to help yourself in order to be able to let go of unresolved anger or guilt. Confession is always good for the soul, and in almost every conflict you experience, you probably shoulder at least some of the blame. So own up to it! It's the only way you'll be able to get past it.
Attack the problem, not the person... I guess this falls into the old category of "hate the sin, but love the sinner." But in this case, since the sin is something that you probably share to some degree with the other person, if you concentrate on the problem itself rather than on each other, you will be able to make bigger and healthier strides towards reconciliation.
Cooperate as much as possible... Oftentimes, in order to keep the peace, you may have to compromise a great deal. Never compromise your values or your faith, but be willing to swallow your pride and compromise on your version of what has happened in order to be able to move forward in your relationship with the other person.
Emphasize reconciliation, not resolution... This is certainly a point that is important within our denomination, where we find a great variety of opinions and beliefs. Warren is absolutely right by saying that we cannot expect everyone to agree about everything. We cannot even expect all faithful Christians to agree about everything, including some very important things! But we must learn to disagree without being disagreeable. Make sure that you try to restore the relationship with the person, even if you cannot resolve whatever the specific conflict might have been. Because relationships are always worth restoring!
DAY 21: Protecting Your Church
This is one of the more important chapters in this book as far as the overall health of a congregation is concerned. Look again at the second sentence Warren writes on this day: "Unity in the church is so important that the New Testament gives more attention to it than to either heaven or hell." Wow! Clearly, God calls us, as His family, to stand united. As Disciples, that unity is one of the foundations of our denominational history. Alexander Campbell and Barton Stone, when they began their church movements, in fact were not seeking to create a new denomination, but a movement that would unite churches from across denominations. "Unity is our polar star," is one theme in Disciples of Christ history. In order to achieve that unity, we must do precisely what Warren advocates in this chapter: focus on what we have in common, not our differences.
Having said that, I think it's also healthy to discuss our differences - for it's oftentimes in those discussions of differences in opinion, experience, theology, etc. that we find our greatest growth. As Warren points out, it was God who made us so different from one another, so we should not only tolerate one another peaceably but we should in face value and enjoy our individual differences! That's why in our denomination, the only thing we ask when someone wants to join our fellowship is, "Do you believe Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and do you accept Him as Lord and Savior?" If we can all agree on that one fundamental belief - if we can all agree that God's revelation to us through Jesus is at the center of all we do and all we believe - then we should be able to work through any other difficulties... or at least accept our differences.
Clearly, there are times when those differences are difficult to accept. Even those who strive to be all God created them to be make mistakes from time to time - indeed, some of us make mistakes seemingly all the time! We are, after all, a community of sinners. Paul's words of wisdom from Ephesians 4 are ones we need to hear again and again: "Be patient with one another, bearing with one another in love." When those differences rear their heads, at least do your best to try navigating the road toward reconciliation. God sent us His Son in order that we might be reconciled to Him, and He has given us that same ministry of reconciliation to one another. That means actively working towards healing and peace in relationships, and refusing to take part in gossip and negativity that can cause factions and fractures within the church family. We can all benefit from Jesus' words of advice regarding conflict resolution (Matthew 18:15-17), with the most important step in that advice being the first step: whenever you have a conflict with someone or disagree with someone, go first directly to that person. Don't complain first to someone else. I hear people make excuses for that all the time, saying, "Well I just couldn't hold something like that in," or "I wanted to know if I was the only one who had a problem with such-and-such." No! Private confrontation should ALWAYS be your first step.
Unity is a tough thing to keep in a church body. But we are called to protect and promote the unity of the church.
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